Back To School: A Few Ways Parents Can Support Children Who Learn Differently

Returning to school can be an exciting yet challenging time for our children who learn differently. As parents, it is so important for us to provide them with the necessary support to ensure a smooth transition and a successful academic year. From my own experience, I thought it would be interesting to explore a few ways we can support our special education children as they head back to school because, as parents, we just want to see our children thrive.

When my son was in elementary school, a friend of mine recommended that I write a letter to his new teacher to share where he has challenges but also share the things that bring him joy. I took this advice to heart and included little things that brought him joy, such as hot wheels, Star Wars, and dogs. It was amazing to see how a few of his favorite hot wheel cars showed up in the classroom and how the teacher could immediately bond with him over animals. This experience taught me the importance of establishing open lines of communication with our child's teachers and school staff. It’s helpful to regularly communicate with them to discuss our child's specific needs, strengths, and challenges. By working collaboratively, we can create a positive and effective support system for our child.

Familiarizing ourselves with our child's Individualized Education Plan (IEP) is crucial. I'll be honest, I never found the IEP to be "user friendly". In fact, I felt it to be user unfriendly. So I reached out to my friends who were never intimidated by it with questions and watched online videos for definitions of each section and tips on how to approach them. Even in high school, I was still refreshing my knowledge; because of the document's importance, it's necessary to feel very comfortable with what's inside of it. Reviewing your child’s IEP regularly is a way to ensure it is up-to-date and accurately reflects your child's needs. If necessary, you can request an IEP meeting to discuss any concerns or modifications required. By understanding the IEP, you can advocate for your child's rights and ensure they receive the appropriate support in the classroom.

Helping our children establish effective homework and study habits is crucial for their academic success. Find a routine and rhythm that works for the family. I'm a bit of a "creature of habit," so routines are important to me. They are also very important to my son as they help him anticipate what's next and feel confident in moving forward through his day. It’s helpful to create a quiet and organized study space at home, free from distractions. Setting a consistent homework routine and providing guidance when needed is essential. Breaking down tasks into manageable chunks and offering praise and encouragement for their efforts can go a long way. My son's mind and body are symbiotic; when his body is active, so is his mind. After arriving home from school, he would have a snack and play for a certain amount of time. Then he would start homework but would break it into segments so that, after every 15 minutes of homework, he would do a certain number of jumping jacks or run around the outside of the house twice or kick a ball into the net a few times... whatever the choice of the week was. He would then come back to his seat and resume another 15 minutes of homework. By supporting their homework and the study habits that work best for them, we can instill a sense of responsibility and independence (and fun)  in our child.

Social skills development is essential for our children with learning differences to thrive in school, but it can also be very challenging. At a time in their lives when most kids just want to fit in and be "the same" as each other, it doesn't come naturally to our kids. I can't sugar coat this, kids can be tough. As much as we want our kids to have friends and fit in, we want them to have the confidence to be themselves. We can encourage our children to participate in social activities and help them develop strategies to navigate social interactions. But, at the same time, we need to tell them to trust their gut. If they feel others are being insincere, they need to walk away. We need to tell them that being alone doesn't mean being lonely and it is so much better than being in the company of disrespectful and often mean kids who are acting a certain way so that they, themselves, fit in. Play-dates or extracurricular activities where they can interact with peers of their choosing in a supportive environment are so helpful. Listening, listening, and listening to them and the names of kids they talk about and how they talk about them is crucial (then you'll know who to invite to the play-date). We can teach them appropriate ways to communicate their needs and emotions and provide guidance on problem-solving and conflict resolution. And tell them to listen to their gut.

Empowering every child to become their own advocate is vital for their long-term success. We started doing this in middle school with parent/teacher conferences and then ramped-up his input at IEP meetings in high school. Some families may start this inclusion earlier and some may start later, it’s always whatever works best for your family. We can teach them to express their needs, ask for help when necessary, and self-advocate for accommodations or modifications. It might build confidence by taking this step with us as parents first and then gradually moving these conversations to be with teachers and educators. Practice in a safe space helps them gain confidence to take action in the real world. Providing opportunities for decision-making and problem-solving allows them to develop critical thinking skills. By promoting self-advocacy and independence, we can help our children become confident and resilient individuals.

Let's keep getting to know our children. Your child is going to go to school for 6 hours a day, approximately 180 days each year, and hearing a smidgen of information about any of those hours, on any of those days, is like pulling teeth. However, hearing your child's perspective of the lessons, activities, and events from their day gives you incredible insight into how they are doing, where they are challenged, and where they are finding their joy in learning. Conversations about your child's day also indicate to them that you feel school is important, that you've experienced some of what they are going through, and that who they are and what they're experiencing matters very, very much. At the same time, children with learning differences often have a difficult time remembering their day or assembling small pieces into a larger picture to tell their story, or are not sure where to even begin to tell about something. It's the reason we created GAB-on!, to keep getting to know our child better. He was able to save a few hints during his school day about things he wanted to talk about with us (this was awesome because we knew this was what he was eager to share with us), and then, at dinner, we would have big conversations and share stories with each other. We learned more about his day, learned so much more about all the "in-between classes” stuff that was happening, and most importantly, we felt so much more connected. And feeling more connected reduced anxiety in both him and us. 

Returning to school can be a significant milestone for our children, and we play a vital role in supporting their success. By establishing open communication with teachers, understanding our child's IEP, supporting study habits, cultivating social skills, promoting self-advocacy and independence, and listening, listening, listening to our child, we can create a strong foundation for their educational journey. Every child is unique, and it is essential to tailor the support to their specific needs. With the right support and guidance, we can help our children thrive academically, socially, and emotionally.

Parents, we matter more than we know!